"Remember that those kind of people who hope you'll have (encounter) an accident are the people worth removing from your life. You don't need someone who'll wish you the worst instead of the best. No matter how special they are, they are toxic."
I already shared this on twitter, I know some of you might read what I posted there and what I experienced. But I'd like to elaborate more why it's healthy to finally get rid of these poisonous people.
We are blinded by love when we are fully aware that we are currently in an abusive relationship (family, friends or someone special), verbal or non-verbal form, but still, we forgive them and give them an nth chance.
They say that we start building our values, morals, and beliefs at home. But what if the place you call "Home" is where you receive constant disparaging remarks? We have no control whom we will have as a family, it's no longer up to us if the Person above decided to hand us over to a lineage that belittles everything you do. This affects our performance especially our trust and confidence in ourselves. The best advice I received in dealing with this situation is to don't let them get through you, don't let their words today affect your tomorrow, and don't ever be like them. We may be part of their family and their blood may stream in our veins but it doesn't mean we have to inherit their perspective.
We all expect that support should come from our family and friends, but how disappointing it is when you realize you can't achieve this from them. Imagine how awful it is when you figure out that they are the source of betrayal and bad faith and not from your enemies.
So, why you should get rid of this kind of people? Simple, because you have loved them too much you allowed them to treat you poorly. It's time to finally love yourself and be happy.
The people in your life should be a source of happiness, you shouldn't waste another minute dealing with a harmful, negative and energy-draining company. Learn to have the discernment to realize who deserves you, love yourself enough to remove yourself from anything you know that is not good for you. We are allowed to terminate toxic relationships, you don't owe anyone an explanation for walking away and taking care of yourself.
Even if they decide to stay and choose you, have the strength to let them go. You don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.
I agree with you. Just like we need healthy body, we need healthy mind and healthy relationship. Toxic relations have long term harmful effects.
ReplyDeleteI have already done this before. Being toxicated by a relationship is definitely hell. I have let go of it despite the cries and the pleas, and I'm glad I did for I was able to meet the love of my life. However, right now, I'm struggling with another section of toxic relationships, this time, with friends. I have had so many friends and I used to think they are all there for me. That having them with me is a good thing but as time passes by with all of us having our own lives, I realized I was wrong. I met people who are truly the one who will stand by my side regardless of who I am and that's also the time when I opened my eyes and realized the friends I used to have before were all toxic to my life. Instead of pushing me up, they pull me down, and I know that it is time for me to let go.
ReplyDeleteYes,you have said right. We all have one life and eveybody has the right to live the way they wan't. So, if we want to be happy lets be happy and remove all those people who are there just to spread negativity.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that you've been through an unpleasant ordeal. I hope everything is fine after choosing to stand your ground and decided to be happy. God always has his own pans. You'll end up with the right people that would love you and care for you. Don't fret, you will be fine with his guidance.
ReplyDeleteI very much agree. You gave me so much #feels. Yes, we do not have control over who we'll have as our family but we can do something, not to hate them, but to prevent them from ever abusing us. Sadly, that is why I left home. I don't want to get furious at my mom and hate her my whole life. Thus, I stood up, packed my bags and left. Today, I visit once in a while, and try not to miss any important occasion. I may be far from them but I felt like they are more of a family to me know than they were when we lived under the same roof. Do I regret leaving? Never...because I would not discover my own strength if I didn't leave.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you on this issue. Although it is really hard to remove some people out of your life because you are kind of used to them, it will bring you forward. I am always seeking people who contribute to my life and support me in any matter.
ReplyDeleteThis is very good advice. I had a relationship in my life with a coworker/friend that became very toxic. She became quite competitive and made belittling comments to me that made me feel bad about myself. But then I realized the truth of what you say--you need to remove people like that from your life! I am glad you understand that too.
ReplyDeleteDid this over a year ago and life is much easier now that there's far less toxic people surrounding me. The block button has become my best friend.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry this happened to you, God has greater plans and I hope all is well. Im almost at the same situation but I can't agree with you, i know it's hard to stand people like that especially if they are your family. I myself, in my opinion, choose to be kind and honor my parents because that is what the Lord the said even though they are abusive or what. I just have to follow what I need to do, because God will do His job if we just obey. Love your neighbors but have the restrictions and limitations. They are still our family so we can't get rid of them fully.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing much to say about the importance of avoiding toxic people. From the word itself, toxic, that says it all. Although I agree, I would also like to expand on this. Often, dismissing toxic people is hard. But compared to taking a look at ourselves, getting rid of them may seem like child play. As one relationship fails, regardless if it is family, friend or romantic, it is a good time to look at ourselves. Moving on from one toxic person is an opportunity to seek ways to continue improving ourselves to become better people.
ReplyDeleteWe have a lot of detractors already and they always want to drag us down. An excess of it is really not needed and can really destroy the balance. The best way is indeed to remove them. They do more harm than good
ReplyDeleteIt's hard when the toxic people in your life is actually your family. But love, in its purest form is unconditional, it doesn't seek to be reciprocated. You can distance yourself from them and allow yourself to heal but learn to forgive them eventually. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a hard thing to do in some cases, but oh so necessary. Once you have removed those individuals from your life you can instantly see how much better things are. I actually had to do this with a family member...not completely removed, but distanced.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes you just have to. You cannot suffer for something that you hate for a long time. There will come a time that you will let go of the toxic people and just learn that they are not worth your time. Ever since college, I have been filtering all the people in my life. I've experienced a lot and one of the things I hate the most is when the people you think you trust are the ones who'll be stabbing you from behind.
ReplyDeleteThere have been some toxic people in my life. I removed them. That's always been my nature. I want as much peace as I can have.
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